United States Senator from Florida, Marco Rubio has been considered a front runner as Mitt Romney’s running mate in the 2012 election. Vice Presidential vetting has uncovered some video and photographs that question Mr. Rubio’s ability to be an asset in the campaign to recover the Presidency from current Democratic leadership President Barrack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden.
In the wake of Mitt Romney’s bullying of homosexual high school classmates, youthful hijinks again plague the Republican party. Apparently, Marco Rubio, a former Mormon has been on television showing a Mangina. While preparing for a vacation to Jamaica’s Hedonism II resort, video was taken of Mr. Rubio with a Mangina. A still photo is in this blog post.
Mr. Rubio apparently also competes in bodybuilding competitions, photograph below.
Although neither of these photos appear to be anything other then fun, the current far right Republican Party may think these could be a turn off to the Republican voters. While the expansion of Hispanic support could increase because of Mr. Rubio’s Cuban nationality, the potential harm may outweigh the benefits of an all Mormon experienced ticket with a VP that speaks Spanish, and Mr. Romney who obviously speaks fluent French.
Here are my current favorite, best and top twenty-five comedies of all time. Everyone is different, so I understand you may not have your top 25 comedies in the exact order that I do. If one of these comedies is not in your top 100 comedies of all time, you either have not seen it, or you are stupid.
Not seen it or stupid are acceptable. I will add, maybe, you just are not funny. Not funny = shitty sense of humor. Like hunting with Dick Cheney, if you get shot, you cannot pretend he said he wouldn’t shoot you. I only speak the truth. Consider yourself shot. You know who you are.
These are movies that I recommend for your entire family. Even the youngest children that do not know how to read subtitles on a weak ass Sundance film turd, can enjoy Hansel vs Zoolander in a walk-off.
Most top 10, or top 25 lists start backwards and work up to the top whatever. Fuck that, I am starting on top. Rank order from one through twenty-five, with a few special mention comedy movies, which I think border too much on drama to be on a conventional best of comedy list.
The Hangover This movie has it all. Road trip from LA to Vegas. Mike Tyson. A chicken. Strippers. Drugs. Beating the house at blackjack. Jagermiester. I will not spoil this for anyone living under a rock. Just buy it. This must be in your possession in your bunker if WWIII were to happen.
There’s Something About Mary This movie is funny for everyone. Men can appreciate it on another level beyond slapstick humor. They have lived it. We have all crushed on a girl from our childhood, hired Matt Dillon to track her down, and then been forced to compete with Matt Dillon, as he has decided he likes her too. Tragic and sad, but made funny and heartwarming by the Farrelly brothers.
Observe and Report Seth Rogan as Ronnie Barnhardt, a mall security cop who is being pushed to the limit by a flasher. Anna Faris is a hot shop girl. Ray Liotta is a cop that attempts to undermine Ronnie. This movie is hilarious, and would have been far more profitable if fat ass Kevin James had not released a piece of shit movie called Paul Blart Mall Cop at the exact same time. Do not confuse them. Observe and Report is art. Paul Blart Mall Cop is poo-poo, and that is being gentle.
Semi-Pro Will Farrell as Jackie Moon singing his once popular song, Love Me Sexy. If you think this is all fiction, read Loose Balls by Terry Pluto. Semi-Pro is a true story.
Slapshot 1977 was a rough year. Elvis passed away. Jimmy Carter was elected President of the United States. However, it wasn’t a complete tragedy. Slap Shot was released, and we all met and fell in love with the Hanson Brothers. My glass was certainly half full in 1977, because of Slap Shot. Thanks to Slap Shot and Jeff Carlson, Steve Carlson, and Dave Hanson. And ABBA’s Dancing Queen. http://www.hansonbrothers.net/
Idiot
Tropic Thunder We cannot deny the comedic ability of Ben Stiller. He is a quiet comedy soldier that has assembled a finer lifetime oeuvre then people who actually think they are funny, like Adam Sandler and Chevy Chase. In Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller delivers. Robert Downey Jr. does blackface, and is ignored by Oscar (fucking politics). The true Tropic Thunder coup de grace is Tom Cruise as Les Grossman. If this is what the Church of Scientology is like, I am going to join. Oh to be Katie Holmes.
Animal House Animal House is art. It is timeless. Animal House did more then set a higher bar for comedy films. Animal House introduced Kevin Bacon to the world, as Chip Diller. Now imagine a world without Kevin Bacon. That is a world I do not want to be a part off.
Old School What would make Animal House Better then Old School? Quite simply, Kevin Bacon. Remove the introduction of Kevin Bacon, and Old School becomes the greatest movie about a fraternity in the history of mankind, and would be number seven on my top comedy movie list, alas Old School, you are number 8.
American Pie American Pie has spawned an almost Godfather like run of quality comedy. Stifler is a franchise, like Spiderman or Star Trek. This is a truly epic first film, which I believe is fair, to compare to the greatest first films in a series ever. Rocky. Godfather. Bourne Identity. The Matrix. American Pie.
Pineapple Express Seth Rogan is a pothead in danger. He has witnessed a murder. He was shocked and horrified. Seth lost a roach while driving away. This roach was not just any marijuana, it was Pineapple Express. The killer could trace him through this special and rare weed. Hi-jinks ensue. Cheech and Chong who? Seth Rogan, James Franco and Danny McBride, bringing back memories of a better time. A time before anti-depressants, crystal meth, HIV, or Ivory Wave.
Derek Zoolander to Walk Off against Hansel, with David Bowie
Zoolander A Walk Off. The many ways we as men parade our feathers in front of each other. To be the winner of a walk off, is one of the most aggressive, and scary. I couldn’t do it. It may have been the magic of film, Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson DID IT in Zoolander. Hansel vs Zoolander in a walk off. They DID IT, and they DID IT well.
Meet the Parents Has Robert De Niro EVER said no to a script? This guy has made some great films. This guys has made some garbage. This guy is probably filthy rich, like rich, like you can NEVER spend it all-leader of a third world country-Hugo Chavez style rich. I am grateful he made Meet the Parents. The movie is great. Now Mr. De Niro, please stop. You only need to have a lifetime batting average around .300 to make the Hall of Fame, you are in. Now relax.
Caddyshack “It looks good on you though.” Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack. This movie, this moment was so great, Chevy Chase could not NOONAN it. Could you imagine if that character was played by anyone else on Earth? De Niro would have done it. Almost anyone would have done it as good or better. Caddyshack could be the funniest movie I have ever seen more then twenty times. Only one comedy on that list, so far. “Be the ball.” Chevy Chase
Isla looks like she won the baby lottery
Wedding Crashers Finally a movie that respects the talent of Cristopher Walken. An original Cocksman. Unusual fact, Isla Fisher is married to Sasha Baron Cohen. Another interesting fact. If Jerry Seinfeld was funny, He would be Sacha Baron Cohen. Anyone hissing that loved the Seinfeld sitcom? Shut the fuck up, that was Larry David that made it funny. Larry could have plugged Alan Greenspan into the role of Jerry and we would have loved the sitcom, and Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell would be collecting those billion dollar royalty checks.
Kingpin “I don’t puke when I drink, I puke when I don’t” Woody Harrelson as Roy Munson in Kingpin. Kingpin is the Color of Money of bowling movies. It is a rags to riches, to rags, to really bad dirty places kind of movie. I believe it was an inspiration for the Darren Aronofsky independent film, the Wrestler. Farrelly Brothers, again, at their finest.
Stripes Does anyone know Bill Murray? I wonder if he is happy? If he isn’t, I don’t exactly want him to change, and this is strictly between us, and not in any way meant to hurt him. He is just a funny ass actor, that has made movies that could be pure garbage, but because of his “Je ne sais quoi” his films never fail to deliver big ass laughs. Except in Lost in Translation. Not even a young Scarlett Johansson made that movie watchable. Could Dick Cheney be calling in the soul of Mr. Murray?
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalow Rob Schneider is Deuce Bigelow. He is a bust-out fish tank cleaner. He is passionate about fish, and a loser in every other way. We do not realize, that this passion, is in everything Deuce does. Under extraordinary stress, Deuce must make money, FAST. He becomes, a man-whore. initially, he isn’t very good. Even when his seduction falls short, he is still appreciated by the ladies that engage him for his services. He eventually conquers his inadequacies, and becomes, a legitimate, bankable, Cocksman.
Tommy Boy Fat man in a little coat. RIP Fat Man. You will always be loved, and remembered.
Blues Brothers Dan Aykroyd, a Canadian, survived. He goes on to make Ghostbusters and marry an original cougar, Donna Dixon. I think Donna Dixon started as a cougar. I don’t think she was ever young. I digress.
Why!?! Why?!? Why couldn’t John Belushi survive? Did Aykroyd make some deal with Dick Cheney? Did he…sell his soul?
Clerks Bust-outs that hang out selling weed in front of a convenience store. Kevin Smith is a funny guy. Jason Mewes is in most Kevin Smith movies, and has been known to disappear on occasion. These guys need to get it together and put out some more Jay and Silent Bob movies, without Ben Affleck.
Happy Gilmore Adam Sandler proves in this movie, he can be hilarious. He merely needs to control the ADHD with medication, so he doesn’t do his stupid voice characters, like a poor mans dumber version of old Robin Williams. When I have an angry, athletic Adam Sandler crushing a golf ball, and losing in a fist fight to Bob Barker, I’m laughing. When I have an Adam Sandler as the Waterboy, or the child of the devil, Little Nicky, I am looking for a sturdy beam to hang myself from. Speaking of the devil. Dick Cheney is still on our Earth.
Team America World Police I know it is crowded, but make room. Team America World Police made me jump on Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s tip. This movie is beyond funny, it will make you laugh until you hurt yourself. I find South Park funny, except the voices make it tough to watch. This is a movie that is uncensored, and it is not handicapped by South Park children’s voices (remind me way too much of Adam Sandler crap).
Beerfest Brothers must save the family brewery. How? A drinking contest in Germany. How do you train for a beer drinking competition? They do it by drinking deer piss. !Spoiler alert!They win. Toast to deer piss.
Beer LeagueArtie Lange, pre Howard Stern show breakdown, delivers a wonderful movie about life, love and softball, in New Jersey. A work of poignant beauty which is generous, and warm. Scenes are shared, and some are even dominated by co-stars, like a stripper that fires ping pong balls out of her vagina. Thank you Mr. Lange. Please drive home safely, Sir.
Joe Dirt David Spade is on my last nerve. His best friend is Chris Rock, who is noticeably absent from this top twenty five funny movie list. Spade is wealthy like Dick Clark, he always has a rerun of some crappy sitcom running on The U. 24/7. I cannot go online without some asswipe from TMZ showing up on a website I am crawling to report how much grade A tail this wonderful this little man crushes each day in Hollywood. My self-esteem is in the toilet, do I need this? NO. To be fair, and to put personal jealousy aside, I must give him props. Tommy Boy, Joe Dirt. Well played Spade. Are you a Cocksman? On paper, you are, yet I have my doubts…
Very honorable mention, but I do not consider them comedies.
Jerry Maguire We may mock Tom Cruise. We certainly question how Renee Zellweger has carved out such a successful career when she is merely a stuck up, no fun, version of Jennifer Tilly. What we can NOT do is watch Jerry Maguire without crying. Big tears.
Vince Vaughn, John Favreau, Ron Livingston
Swingers Swingers can hardly be considered a comedy. Swingers is real. Swingers is an important movie for me, and most around my age, those of us born in the late 60’s, early 70’s (1971). Swingers was released in 1996. Same timing as our own discovery of that sacred destination for all adults, Las Vegas. Swingers captures a moment in my life, like Kennedy captured a moment in my father’s.
Noticeably absent from list?All Harold and Kumar movies. Stand alone, these are funny films. I resent pussy ass Kal Penn taking a White House political gig as an Associate Director with the White House Office of Political Engagement, then turning his back on those of us that appreciate what he was doing with Harold and Kumar. I am bitter, and may remain bitter for a while. a very fresh wound. Obviously Mr. Modi, Kal’s father (Kal’s real name is Kalpen Suresh Modi) didn’t do the best job of teaching young Kalpen that you leave the party with the person that brought you. John Cho, I will take you home from the party. NPH can join us if he needs a ride, since Kalpen is high-browing you both.
